After seeing the psychologist, we have some benchmarks and some insight into my dad’s mental health, but there is no conclusive evidence for any diagnosis. It’s confirmed that he has no short-term memory. The doctor made several recommendations, none of which my dad/parents will follow. One was that they should simplify their lives and move into their retirement home full-time.
There were no early indicators for an Alzheimer’s diagnosis.
Knowing that my parents won’t consider any of the psychologists recommendations has set me back mentally. When they asked for help before, I’d jump at the chance. Now I wonder if I’m just enabling them to continue a life that might not be the best option for them.
This week they asked me to stop by their townhouse to help with the bills. However, when I show up and start asking questions, they say things I know not to be true. When my mom tells me they don’t have the credit card bill because the bank doesn’t mail it to their house, and I disagree, the battle begins. Last month we visited the bank to confirm they were getting mailed statements.
My mom lords over the checkbook so this disagreement is with her. My dad tries to squelch the battle he sees brewing and asks, “So what?”
I’ve run through every emotion trying to answer that question. I fall back on the knowledge that the parents that raised me would never had said “so what” when it comes to paying bills. If they don’t care anymore, why should I? Resigned.