When I call my parents as we agreed and they don’t answer, I already know my day is shot. This will be the third or fourth time in days where they call thinking I was coming over, or I show up as we discussed and they aren’t at home.
My dad calls from the club wondering where I am and I explained that they were supposed to wait at home until I called because I wasn’t sure what time we would be done at church. I tell him I will be there shortly. I go alone. I have to tell them that their inability to remember anything is really frustrating. I know I won’t have the courage to tell them how much it impacts me and my family in a negative way.
When I show up my mom says “This doesn’t happen with anyone else.” I pause and take a deep calming breath. I move my lips into a smile and tell her that can’t be true. She repeatedly brings this up and my resolve cracks. I have a list of recent examples regarding the plumber not showing up when she thought or needing a ride from bridge because her partner didn’t show up.
I can’t stop this argument. I’m really frustrated. They don’t understand and I feel like a horrible child. I need to take a break from my parents because there is nothing in me that is graceful or humorous today. Offended.
i have similar problems with my parents, and the only thing (sadly) that seems to have an impact on either of them (meaning their behavior) is when I end up getting so frustrated that I either yell at them and storm out of the house, or yell at them and hang up after asking that they do not call me again!!!. 🙁 Something clicks in their brains, and they seem to want to please me after that and comply with my wishes, and the garage door gets fixed.
This really isn’t the answer and is only a very short-term solution to a particular issue, like trying to help them let me get me garage door fixed, etc. They mostly refuse help, and/or deny the door is broken, after I have shown them the problem several times.
My thoughts then turn to the phrase I often hear from others/friends who say, “at least you have your parents.” i then think, no I really don’t have my parents; i lost them a while back, and now I have two strangers who have both lost their ability to comprehend and/or reason thru the most basic pleasures such as a regular conversation, or looking forward to a visit and a meal. They both seem trapped in an alternative brain/universe where we cannot connect anymore, and they keep drifting farther away from sanity and reason (the things that make life worth living).
My worst thought is how fortunate others are to have lost their parent or parents quickly. All the sorrow comes in a powerful emotional punch, and then it dissipates over time and (hopefully) the good memories remain. The alternative is having your parent or parents slip away over 10 years causing duress, emotional strife, frustration, time, and potentially financial hardship. All of my good memories are being pushed aside and fading away to the new reality.There are times when I wish it was all behind me. For now, it seems like the challenges and heartache stretches out for miles and miles and the road is dark.
Thanks for sharing!