“Hi Kay, I need some help and your father can’t help me. We have a bill for the retirement community that didn’t get paid and I’m not sure how to get money into the bank account to pay for it.” At first, my heart leaps for joy at the request for help.
Then dread sets in. The last time I tried this I left totally frustrated and was unable to talk to my parents for several days. When my mom kept telling me they never get bills and my dad’s response was “So what?” – I lost my cool and quickly exited from their home. That night they showed up at my door at 8:30 (WAY past their bedtime) with presents and a note. They had no idea why I left so upset. I ended up feeling guilty, sad and incompetent all at the same time. I really didn’t want another scoop of that.
It’s a new day and I’m still learning. Now, I at least have a psychologist confirmation that my parents both have no short-term memory, my mom has dementia and confabulation is very common in patients with brain injuries. Will that be enough to tame my tongue or my zeal for correct information? Today is going to be different; it has to be. Determined.
I am reading with great interest. I suspect that in the coming months that I will be reading more carefully. So much of what you write represents what I believe will be happening to our family very soon. Thanks for taking the time to share your personal thoughts and insights. What you share has great meaning. You are brave to have pulled back the curtain.
Hi Donna – Doing this has been a god-send for me! I’m glad to know it may and is helping others. It’s not easy.
You may want to take a look at the tools I developed to help me through this process http://www.MemoryBanc.com
Best, Kay