Recreating Reality

We really don’t know what happened last week with the two hospital visits . What my sister got from the hospital social worker was that my parents showed up at the ER on Thursday. We’ve heard my dad say it was for my mom, then for himself. My mom told me on Friday when we chatted it was for her.

I hope to hear back from the social worker to get documentation of their visit so we have a clear picture of what happened.

Today when we meet for breakfast, my dad has some pills in front of him. I ask him when his prescriptions changed since those didn’t look like the pills he used to take. My mom jumps in and says they just had their physicals done on Friday and they changed dad’s medications.

I softly tell my parents that we got a call from the hospital. They didn’t have a physical and showed up there two days in a row and seemed confused. I got a call because the hospital was worried about their safety.

Quiet. There is no response and after a few bites I change the subject. While I don’t expect them to remember, I also don’t want to miss an opportunity to convey how different our realities are. I hope there is some basic protection instinct that will seep into my parents’ psyche to allow them to understand that all is not right with the world today. Plagued.



10 thoughts on “Recreating Reality

  1. this has to be so hard to watch parents change from strong teachers to ones who need a teacher. god bless. i know exactly what you are going through

  2. Do they keep a diary? My mom writes in hers when she remembers, and it helps her keep some (though not all) things straight. Re-reading on her own must have been her own proof that she cannot remember.

    1. My mom has kept a calender with her, but that system starting failing about a year ago since she has multiple calendars she can’t keep straight and doesn’t always have one withher. She still counts on my dad for filling in her memories.

      We’ve suggested and given her varied calendars and options — I used to take one over weekly. They would lose it within a day (I’d post it on the refridgerator, but since they live between two homes, It got removed and got lost every week)!

      Our only hope is that they let in an aide to assist them daily.

      Thanks for the suggestion.

  3. My husband and kids remain in fear of this reality reaching our world, as the symptoms of dementia very gradually invade my mind further. We think, hope and pray there is a long way to go before this starts happening to ‘us’, but as you well know, they will just have to wait and see. Stay strong, and take care, from a friend on the other side of your harsh reality.

  4. I recently nicknamed my husband my BUB, or ‘Back up Brain’ and we find this terminology far easier to live with than carer. He said last night, it empowers him to be by my side, rather than to ‘care’ for me, in the sense of taking away my dignity and power to do things for myself. It also empowers me to feel less of a ‘failure’, and less guilty about what is happening (failure, only in the sense of having to accept there are so many things I simply cannot do alone anymore).

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