Please give me some time to prepare

When the Executive Director (ED) called to discuss the timing of the transition of my parents from Independent Living to Assisted Living they wanted to move my parents immediately. The ED suggested giving my parents two-days notice and asked me to pick which day of the week we wanted to move them. I asked if I could have some time to prepare. She has known my parents for several years and knew they had a town house that kept them from accepting full-time residency at the retirement community.

Just retelling this has forced my breathing to quicken. I’d been working to get my parents to stay in the retirement community and now they needed to move into Assisted Living. For the past year, I’ve felt like my parents were was always one step behind where they needed to be.

Their promise to “not be a burden” shifted into a part-time job for me as I tried to allow for their independence but also manage safety, which they have been unconcerned about.

The ED agreed to give me a day to talk with my siblings. As soon as I hung up, I called my sister. I believed this is the right move for my parents but knew my mom’s first reaction would be to move back into their town house full-time.

I also knew that on the day this happened and following the move, all of my siblings needed to be here. My parents needed to see and hear from us that we agree with the recommendation to move them into Assisted Living. We also needed to be here to make the move happen in two days.

My sister and I talked through the need to:

1. Sell or Rent the town house
2. Get everyone in town

We set up a sibling call and then put together a time line so I could propose a notification date with the retirement community. Planned.