I tell her the story about him saying the men go first. I wrote about this in October, 2012 — my Mom asked me “Who is going to help me when your father isn’t around to help anymore?” I told her that him dying first feels like how we moved from place to place — Dad always went first when we he was reassigned. We would stay behind and my Mom managed to sell the home if we owned it, pack the house and transition the family to the new residence.
My Mom chuckles at my analogy.
Many people marvel that my Mom can still be so with it. In my Mom, her dementia presented a combative woman who wouldn’t respond to reason and behave in very unbecoming ways. I recognized that her agitated behavior coincided when she didn’t seem to really know or understand what was going on. If human nature responds with fight or flight — my Mom is a fighter for sure.
On the new medications, you would just notice that my Mom has absolutely no short-term memory and has difficulty managing her day. She still gets dressed, albeit in the same outfit daily and likes to go run errands when I visit. She is much slower and naps a lot more now. I have not had any recent instances with jumbled or nonsensical sentences. Remarkably, she is also not challenging the presence of the personal aides and on several calls to my Mom she will report that she has a “friend” visiting.
The planner in me wonders how long this stage will last. Right now the daughter in me has decided that I will just enjoy being able to spend time with a loving mother. Savored.