As I work through the final plans for mom’s funeral, I’ve been going through photographs and land on one of her in a marching band uniform with a saxophone in hand. For more than a decade, when I was chatting with mom I often felt like she was recreating history. Some stories remained the same as her dementia progressed, but often there would be a statement or two that just made me go “Hmmm, O.K.”
As I was adapting to spending time with mom in the earlier stages of her dementia and before it was diagnosed, I would correct statements mom made that I knew were not true. I would like to tell you I quickly learned not to lock horns … but that was not the case. I finally realized that mom believed the things she was telling me and just started to go along with the conversation.
When I was getting a poster ready for the “life celebration” reception, I pull out a photograph of mom with a saxophone. I makes me laugh out loud. When mom mentioned she played the saxophone, I just thought it was a confabulation. Now I learn that she was telling me something real about herself all along. Humbled.
This post made me smile. I’m thinking of you, Kay. I’ll be there with you on Thursday in spirit.
Thanks! Always looking for the positive moments on this journey.
Hope all goes well on Thursday. My mum is 95 on Wednesday and I realise how little I really know about her. Hope to see her on Saturday, hold her hand and let her know how much I appreciate her.
Ask for the scrapbook-I’m sure she’s got one. Enjoy!
Wonderful story, Kay. I did smile at it.