She would just get angry with me and a fight would erupt.
What I would learn years later is that a high percentage of individuals that have a stroke have Anosognosia which is a deficit of self-awareness; a condition in which a person with some disability seems unaware of its existence. Mom had a minor stroke that left no physical reminders, but impacting her cognitive abilities. But she could not recognize it.
I eventually learned that the attitude I arrived with when I visited my Mom was quickly absorbed and returned. If she was in a cantankerous mood and I found myself loosing my cool, I would excuse myself to get a drink, take a few deep breaths, or go to the bathroom — anything to break the pattern of where we were. Eventually, she would usually transition to calm.
On those days that I arrived stressed or frustrated, I would only feed her anxiety. It took me a while to practice and get it right, but I learned how to better meet my Mom where she was … and even help her find calm on those days that her dementia wanted to take her elsewhere. Learned.