“Good morning, Mom. Can I stop by for a visit this morning?”
“Oh, hi Kay, hmmm. We are still in bed; can you come by this afternoon?”
It’s 9 a.m. This is really unusual for my parents.
Every Wednesday morning I stop by to visit my parents in their home. They have nothing planned on Wednesdays. I prefer to see them early since they are always more crisp and talkative. It also gives me a chance to help out and see how they are doing in their home.
The more involved you are when someone has short-term memory loss and / or dementia, the more you know how difficult day-to-day life must be. Getting used to the fact that they don’t remember is one of the hardest things I have worked on to come to terms with.
They insist on keeping their home in addition to their place in the retirement community because they have so many things to do near their home. However, when you are involved in their lives, the more you know about their real schedules.
When asked if they will move to the retirement community, they recite a list of all the things they used to do, but I now know that many of those things no longer happen. My dad’s racquetball partner travels for months at a time and my mom has lost her bridge partner.
They have a lot of time to fill and moving between the two homes gives them activity and a schedule they can still control. Observed.