“Good morning, Mom. Can I stop by for a visit this morning?”
“Oh, hi Kay, hmmm. We are still in bed; can you come by this afternoon?”
It’s 9 a.m. This is really unusual for my parents.
Every Wednesday morning I stop by to visit my parents in their home. They have nothing planned on Wednesdays. I prefer to see them early since they are always more crisp and talkative. It also gives me a chance to help out and see how they are doing in their home.
The more involved you are when someone has short-term memory loss and / or dementia, the more you know how difficult day-to-day life must be. Getting used to the fact that they don’t remember is one of the hardest things I have worked on to come to terms with.
They insist on keeping their home in addition to their place in the retirement community because they have so many things to do near their home. However, when you are involved in their lives, the more you know about their real schedules.
When asked if they will move to the retirement community, they recite a list of all the things they used to do, but I now know that many of those things no longer happen. My dad’s racquetball partner travels for months at a time and my mom has lost her bridge partner.
They have a lot of time to fill and moving between the two homes gives them activity and a schedule they can still control. Observed.
Kay,
the pain of watching one’s parents slip away is compounded by knowing they have little to look forward to other than meals and visits. Recalling a busier and more active life probably makes them feel just a little more relevant and vital. It is understandably frustrating to see your parents have no real reason to get out of bed. I wonder what other things might get their attention like exercising together each morning, reading (can’t remember what’s been read), chess, painting, etc.
my wife and i try to always workout together and hopefully we can stay with it thru the years.
all the best!
e.
Yes — I’ve been watching carefully to see the things I need to do differently.
Thanks for your note.