More than three. Ha-ha, anyone?
My brother and I spent the morning and early afternoon getting my parents to a follow-up doctor appointment based on the recommendations from the psychologist. There are no cues in their blood work to flag any specific issue we could address. Instead, we spent the appointment with the doctor trying to educate my parents that:
- Several doctors have raised a red flag that something is wrong.
- They are lucky to have children involved and interested in helping them.
- They need to simplify their lives before an accident causes them to have a sudden and negative life change.
My mom does not believe anything said to her and is angry with my brother and me because we didn’t have this discussion with her first. We explain we’ve had it so many times, we’ve lost count.
“Prove it,” she says. I tell her I stopped writing it down because it doesn’t make a difference. She won’t believe it and even if she did, she’d forget it.
The doctor suggests that for every instance, we write up a note and have my parents sign it. Brilliant suggestion.
We get to the end of the meeting and I ask the doctor to write up our meeting with her recommendations. She does and she hands it to my dad to sign and date. He willingly does. She turns to my mom who refuses to sign it so she writes that my mom refused to sign it and has my brother sign and date it confirming my mother’s attendance and her refusal to sign the paper.
We keep trying logic with someone who has dementia. My dad doesn’t want to betray the trust and partnership he has with my mom but I can tell he’s getting weary. We tried, but it’s just a different day with the same result.
Apparently, three doctors are not enough to help my parents accept the changes they need to make. Tired.