The hardest part of this journey with my parents is the recurring disappointment. Today I get a call from my dad asking me “Where are you?”
I had no plans to see my parents today. I spent my entire Sunday afternoon with them looking for my mom’s purse and taking them to the grocery store. They wanted a ride to their townhouse so I gave it to them. I was very clear yesterday that I was unable to see them today.
All I can do is apologize “Sorry Dad, I was unaware you were expecting me.”
I have tried to eliminate the word “Remember” from my vocabulary. My typical response would have been “Remember, we discussed this yesterday and you knew I had the day planned with my family?” But of course they don’t remember, so saying that is just frustrating for everyone.
My mom was very depressed for most of the afternoon yesterday. She was frustrated at losing her purse – which happens almost weekly now. I have asked her several times if she wants to go buy a big red purse that will be too big and colorful to miss. She declines. I think we both know she won’t remember that big red purse is hers.
She wants my dad to help her, but he can’t any longer. She mentioned to me that he seems to be wearing the same clothes every day now. She suggested he change, but he declined. She knows that is a very bad sign.
I will continue to do what I can until we can get more permanent and legal support to really help them lead the lives they so wish to live. Surrendered.
My elderly aunt leaves her purse in her walker which is where I find it every time she thinks someone has stolen it. The walker? She says she doesn’t need it, it’s just that thing next to her nursing home bed (she needs it now to walk more than one step). Her wallet she moves around so much I can’t keep up. Sometimes there is money in it and sometimes not (she moves it around and then forgets where she put it). However, it’s the same $47 for the past year.
I can imagine how maddening it is. I know the panic I have felt when I thought I lost my wallet and she seems to go through this cycle daily! Thank you for your note!