My parents have gone back to their townhouse and refuse to stay now in the retirement community – even on those days they normally stayed there.
My sister came into town and had lunch with my parents and returned them to the retirement community. My brother and sister made plans with my parents to go eat dinner at a new place close by, but by the time they returned after some meetings, my parents had cabbed it back to their townhouse.
They decided to let them be. They are now very difficult to be around.
On a positive note, they are unable to figure out how to get the cars restarted even though we believe they still had some hidden keys. The most important piece of Operation Safety Net was to get them off the road. My brothers accomplished their mission. Relieved.
As your families struggles continue, you might find some comfort or answers on Bob De Marco’s blog The Alzheimer’s Reading Room… this one today is beautiful http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/08/alzheimers-caregiver-grief-love-and.html
ps. I feel sure your parents are not meaning to be mean or difficult, they are probably also grieving about the loss of their lives and former selves. as a person living with dementia, it is a daily struggle not to be outraged (internally, and externally) at the changes