How different each dementia can be.

Today was another practice session in patience, humor, forgiveness, and patience.

First, I need to celebrate my win. My parents had holed themselves up in their town house and declared this their permanent home. I managed to create chores that ended with me delivering them to their retirement community home. Yeah!

My mom struggled with basic things today. When we planned to go to pharmacy to pick up her new prescription, she continued to run to her bathroom to prove she didn’t have a prescription. My dad finally bellowed at her “You won’t have this already, it’s a NEW prescription!”

We stopped for lunch at their favorite restaurant, Arby’s and she spent five minutes ordering potato chips. She’s been to the restaurant hundreds of times and just didn’t understand they didn’t offer potato chips with her meal. I asked her to go pick out a seat so we could finish up the order and she quickly redirected.

At one point today, we ended up on the “why did you take our car” conversation. My mom believes my brother took her car without first discussing the issue with her. I smile and walk through the facts. She disagrees, quite angrily. To make peace, my dad says, “I don’t remember if we had a conversation, but I also don’t remember that we did not have a conversation about the car. So I will take your word for it.”

Our 800-lb gorilla is my parents devotion to stay united. My mom will not accept the things we tell her and steadfastly clings to her confabulated facts. My dad just doesn’t remember, but accepts what we tell him.

My parents devotion has created an impenetrable roadblock. Even though I admire it, now I begrudge their loyalty. Stymied.

If you have faced this situation with success, please share your suggestions!

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