I struggle with those events that honor or mark an occasion when I know my parent’s don’t or won’t remember. I’m admitting this hoping I am not the only one that has battled this head game. I manage so many small details of my parent’s lives some days that the slight effort and scheduling to acknowledge the event feels overwhelming.
Then I remember that if my parents could, they would have celebrated this date.
I call to let my Mom know I am coming for a visit. She admits she is still in bed — it’s 10 a.m. I let her know I will be there in an hour. When I arrive my Dad answers the door. I wish him Happy Anniversary, and ask about Mom. She is still in bed, but dressed. She quickly gets up and joins us in the living room. I give my parents a fruit basket and “Happy Anniversary” Balloon on behalf of all their children.
When we talk about going down to get lunch, my Mom begs off. She says she is too dizzy to walk down to lunch. She is talking clearly so I assume she is just not eating enough. We bring her back food and she promises to eat it later.
After lunch we have a nice chat about how many couples make it to their 60th wedding anniversary. My Mom shares how lucky she feels they have been, which is now a staple of her conversation every time I visit. In the midst of the conversation, my Mom states “You need to move me to a smaller apartment after one of us dies. “
Just six months ago, the idea of moving them from Independent Living to Assisted Living was a major concern for me and my siblings. They have easily adapted to their new place that is less than 400 square feet. Now my Mom is already planning on moving to a smaller place.
I’m glad I made sure my parents could celebrate this day together. Rewarded.