A recent search brought someone to my blog: “Do you ever feel good when you have a parent with Dementia?” I hope I have conveyed in the two years I’ve shared my journey — the answer to the question is ABSOLUTELY.
The experience has seasoned me in a way that age enhances wine, cheese, and leather. My emotions are richer, my awareness deeper and my ability to give greater. I’ve always felt that I was a bit clueless when it came to social cues. As a military brat that moved a lot in my childhood, I wonder if I grew calluses on my senses and numbed my ability to pick up on social cues so I could manage through each move. I was and am still very comfortable alone. Did I cultivate this ability so I could survive puberty in 4 different schools over 3 years? My strength came from the inside, but as I’ve aged, I realize my strength was rigid.
This journey has changed the trajectory of my family, my career and my friendships. The death of my father fractured my strength. It felt like a section of my foundation was missing. While I watched as I lost my Dad in increments due to his Alzheimer’s — many of his characteristics were still in tact. I could still talk with him, he was still very kind, he cracked jokes and I could even hold his hand.
There have also been some incredibly horrible times … but they pass. I used each experience to learn.
I am still rebuilding after the loss of my Dad, but know that my strength will return and I will emerge a better, stronger, more flexible version of former self. Enhanced.
4 thoughts on “Do you ever feel good when you have a parent with Dementia?”
It is true, these family caregiving experiences change us forever, often in positive ways. Caregiving forces you to step outside of your comfort zone, your usual roles and tackle things you never thought possible. Certainly no one would choose for their loved ones to become ill to begin with, but when it happens, I hope people can embrace the situation with an open mind and heart.
Your comment is wonderful, “My emotions are richer, my awareness deeper and my ability to give greater.” I will share this with my financial planning clients, many of whom are caring for someone with dementia. Thank you for sharing this positive perspective!
Thank you. I’ve always been a silver lining kind of gal but truly believe I’m a better human for experiencing this … although I sure wouldn’t wish it on anyone. It’s tough!
I miss my Dad , he was always my inspiration n still is , I go back n ask myself in this or that situation “what would Dad do ? ” I feel theres so much of him left in me n I find comfort in that.
Mom on the other hand cant seem to find any peace even after 4 yrs she still wants to go be with him.