On Monday, we drove mom to her new community. I had help moving her things and before she arrived, her room was filled with her favorite paintings and family photographs. The staff at the new community immediately welcomed her and got her involved in activities.
We didn’t make this decision lightly.
My parents and my grandparents both lived in the community mom just moved from. They have lifelong friends who live there. However, my mom doesn’t remember or recognize them anymore. I know many people in the community and the change is a little scary for me too.
When my dad died, I received books on managing grief from some volunteers. In December, a group of volunteers went to Arlington National Cemetary and laid a wreath at my dad’s headstone and sent pictures and a note to my mom. My godfather would often deliver my mom’s mail and many of the residents knew her from the years of bridge groups that she ran. Several adult children of other residents would stop by and visit my mom. I will miss these things.
We were asked to let the community help mom make the transition and told that we shouldn’t plan on visiting the first week. Two of the women that supported my mom as personal daily assistants (pda’s) in her old community are on site and helping her make the transition. I feel like I did when my children went to camp. I hope my mom’s doing well and adjusting and that she is finding enjoyment in the new community. Wished.
You are a great daughter, Kay! I will miss both your mom and you at the old community but am happy to read of her positive fist day in her new home.
What a big move. It sounds like the physical move itself wasn’t too stressful, I hope the transition itself goes as smoothly.
The facility staff suggesting you not visit your mother for several days is pretty much standard operating procedure for many facilities, HOWEVER, please know that them saying that you should not plan on visiting the first week while your mother makes the transition is just a suggestion, not a rule or a requirement. You have every right to visit – or not visit – depending upon what your mother would want. I offer this information as a former Long-term Care (LTC) Ombudsman for the State of Washington (advocate for vulnerable adults living in LTC facilities).
Thank you. Helpful.