For those of you who blog, there is a feature that lets you schedule posts. I love it because I know if I have something to say, but already posted for the day, I can push the story forward a few days. I’m hesitant to barrage you with more than one post a day. I’m breaking that rule today … and might not follow it again.
I did that last week with These Sneaks Are Made for Walking! In the morning I posted the story about Palliative vs. Hospice Care and went to visit my mom to find her using a walker to move around her community. I came back, wrote about it, and then scheduled to post. I didn’t think about at all as the weekend unfolded. So now the story is a little out-of-order. I’m sorry for that. I also realize I posted twice on Sunday … but I did sleep between posts so they felt like two different days. ; >
Unfortunately, on my visit today (Tuesday, 3/31), I find mom isn’t doing well. The hospice social worker told me on Monday they were not going to discharge mom after the fall and that she was not interested in getting out of bed.
The PDA I see most texts me this morning to check in after she arrives and reports the same this morning. Just last week she had mom walking all over the community and today, she is unable to even transfer herself. I know she is bummed to see my mom in such a state after she was doing so well. We all are.
My mom still has a very pronounced lump on her forehead and now has a black eye. The discoloration can be seen all the way down to her neck. My mom asks me to repeat almost everything today which is very unusual. After my visit I call back the social worker to ask her when the doctor is going to visit next. She tells me he’s going to see mom tomorrow.
After I’m done reporting what I saw, she tells me point blank “most people don’t recover from a fall like your moms.” I supposed we have all heard how devastating falls are to frail elderly patients, but it just didn’t seem that bad as we sat in the hospital. I was more worried about a concussion given that two of my daughters good friends have just suffered one. Mom didn’t even have a concussion, but the lingering effects are very noticeable and real.
We’ve been to this place before. If this is the beginning of the end, I only pray for it to be swift. However, I have watched my mom fight back from a lot worse. Told.
6 thoughts on “The Caregiving Roller Coaster Twist No. 267”
Kay, I feel for you so much with the latest development, but you may find your Mom improves again. The pattern of ageing is very difficult to discern. My Mum went headfirst down five wooden steps on her head, cut her head open and gave herself such a gorgeous black eye that it lasted weeks. After some mental disturbance lasting a couple of weeks, though, she actually recovered entirely. All anyone can do is take things one day at a time.
Thank you for sharing. I’m learning that you just never know and take each day on!
To echo what @Stephen says, here are some posts from my archive:
May 2014 when I thought she was dying:
August 2014 (see the image w the post):
On the other hand, she may be gone tomorrow. And so might you and I. Life is so fragile.
I’m sorry to hear this news. It is indeed a roller coaster ride that no one wants to find themselves on. As you said, your mom is a fighter, and if I’ve learned anything over the last few years, it’s that we cannot underestimate the human spirit.
Oh, Kay, I’m sorry. I remember we were told never to look for patterns though we never quite managed not to. Dad would have a couple of good days (by which we meant he was cheerful, comunicative, eating well) and our hopes would rise only to despair the next day. I know how you are feeling. Dad would be so ill with something like pneumonia or a UTI and it would look like he was on his way out. I, too, would hope for it to be swift – but he would fight back. I never – and still don’t – understand where he got the strength to keep fighting. Thinking of you and your mum.
Oh, Kay…I know this place intimately and my heart breaks for you and your mom. The social worker is right, but you and I both have moms that were/are fighters. If this is her last fight, I too pray that it will be peaceful and quick for your mom. Love and hugs, Sandra