Missing the Mom That’s Sitting Beside Me

momsdayteaThe holiday’s always bring melancholy for me and this Mother’s Day was no different. My church does a Mother’s Day tea and asked us to wear a hat … the bigger and bolder the better. That is a picture of me with my daughter and mom. We spent the early afternoon decorating our hats and arrived to enjoy a normal moment. We had finger sandwiches, tea, cookies and tarts and listened as one of the members played some of my mom’s favorite tunes on the piano.

My mom was a very good piano player. At one point in my life, our basement held two piano’s and my parent’s would spend the evening playing duets. When I was in middle school, my mom was the church organist. She stopped playing the keyboard in her apartment a year ago and doesn’t remember being a piano player anymore.

My mom’s talents have slipped from her grasp. She was an antique dealer, china restorer, bridge life master and taught hundreds of adults how to play bridge. She raised four kids and was very active in the communities we lived while she supported my dad through his military career and beyond.

While she can’t manage these tasks anymore, just getting out and enjoying a simple social event was an accomplishment for us all. I recognize it as the new normal for us, but also am reminded of all we both have lost as dementia steals away my mom. Reflected. 

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