I started this blog to help me deal with all of the changes I was seeing in my parent’s and feeling helpless. Over five years I learned quite a bit, and have poured it into Dealing with Dementia in hopes of making this journey a little easier on the next family.
I’m honored to have been named one of the Best Blogs of the Year for 2016, 2017, and 2018. To celebrate, I’m recapping my Top Ten Dementia Don’ts.
I wrote these when my mom was living in an assisted living community dedicated to memory care. Some really only come into play in the later stages, but could really just be general life rules if you ask me!
10. Don’t assume because they can’t tell you, that your words or actions don’t hurt their feelings.
9. Don’t assume they can’t answer for themselves.
8. Don’t blame them for the changes in their behavior.
7. Don’t remind them of a death of a loved one or pet.
6. Don’t talk about someone with dementia in front of them like they don’t exist.
5. Don’t think they can’t communicate just because they don’t speak.
4. Don’t assume they can’t understand you because they are silent.
3. Don’t correct or challenge trivial things.
2. Don’t say “Remember when … “
1. Don’t tell someone diagnosed with dementia they are wrong.
What are some of yours?
** I updated this post in 2018 when I was again awarded this distinction.
4 thoughts on “My Top Ten List of Dementia Don’ts”
One of mine is there are no experts in dementia. How can there be when everyone’s journey is different?
A favored quote I heard many years ago is that “If you meet one person with dementia, you have met one person with dementia.” It is so true.
Always try to meet them in the reality they have created. It may be a mix of people, places and things, some real some dreamlike, but meet them there. Don’t try and change what is real for them at any given moment.