It’s been a while since I had to deal with anger from my Mom or a client diagnosed with dementia. My Dad never lost his cool even through moderate Alzheimer’s.
There is no easy salve to navigate these situations. I support an individual who lives in a retirement community managed by seasoned professionals, work with a savvy agency that supports his health (Aging Life Care Managers), and have the complete support of his only living relative, but none of this helps when the client has decided he needs to buy a car.
Two years ago a letter of incapacity was written. His current doctor re-tested him and wrote another letter of incapacity within the past year.
However, none of this stops him from wanting and being able to manage to have the local car dealer come pick him up to purchase a new car. The fact that his license was rescinded more than two years ago and his credit frozen doesn’t seem to be slowing down the dealership from helping him purchase a car.
His community, his health care manager, and my team are working to redirect and move him away from walking out the door of the community and buying a car. All of us are feeling the sting of his anger.
How awful this must feel to him.
Sometimes there just is no solution but to meet him where he is and try to guide him away from the steps he is taking. Unfortunately, today’s venture is the third time we have gone through this dance and we fear it is most likely going to get him evicted from his community.
It why dementia feels so unfair. Everyone looses today. Bummed.