I recall when the first doctor met with my sister and me and we asked him how we were going to be able to really help my parents. As he knew, they insisted that they could manage two homes, their bank accounts and continued to drive. He suggested that my sister and I “be sneaky.”

I am, to a fault, a very up-front person. I have never been good at detecting the subtle nuances and know that for some people, I’m too direct. After months of trying to manage through it by being up-front and failing, I’ve been trying to learn how to “be sneaky.”

Just admitting that makes me a little queasy.

My kids are watching me and I have had to explain to them why I’m violating one of our Bransford Family Values. They have been around my parents enough to understand how difficult they can be and how hard this has been on me.

This weekend, as a family, we watched “The Big Year.” The character Kenny is obsessed in maintaining his hold on the record. There are hints dropped that he might be cheating, but time and time again, you find he has not cheated. He doesn’t lie to his close competitors, but he does some things to indirectly throw them off the trail.

I like the way Kenny managed to pursue his objective without lying and now spend a few minutes before every call or visit to run through how I might avoid having to lie to my parents should a topic come up that might cause a conflict. Instructed.