Enter Adult Protective Services … Really

VA APSSeveral weeks ago the retirement community scheduled a meeting with my parents. We all sat down and the staff  shared their concerns about some things they have seen in my parent’s behavior. My parents refute each claim and dismiss each fact. At one point, my dad turns to me and asks if I have seen the things they are saying. I tell him “Yes”.

My parents are living in the “independent” section of the retirement community. The staff asks them if  they plan on moving into the “assisted” section or getting some help if they want to stay in the “independent” section. My parents are appalled by this suggestion.

The meeting ends and the director of the retirement community asks me to stay for a brief conversation. They ask if we are going to pursue guardianship.

My siblings and I were just short of filing the papers when we realized that having the legal right won’t make our parents any more agreeable to the changes that will need to be made. We agreed we would try some other options first — pursing this legal option will be our last resort. My parents will understand what is going on and we hope to figure out other ways to achieve the same ends.

My mom in particular seems to remember things that have a negative emotion — the loss of the cars, where the man lived she did not like. I don’t want to spend the rest of my time with her in a defensive crouch.

The director of the community calls me later to confirm they will be calling Adult Protective Services (APS). Bring it. Readied.