Early on, I started to notice a lot of mail waiting to be posted to a variety of charities every time I visited my parents. This was unusual since it was a different pattern of giving than the habits my parent’s held for the decades leading up to this shift.

When I read the mail, I started to see that charities were using language that said “Thank you for your pledge!” or “Can we count on you again this year?” Being of the greatest generation, my parent’s were going to follow up on what they perceived to be an obligation. Unfortunately, they didn’t remember if they did or did not pledge and just believed what they read.

I did start to realize that I was getting very similar donation requests at my own home from charities I never gave to or pledged money to previously. It is actual exploitation because they are using misleading language to trick people into giving them money. Some estimates put this figure at over $36 Billion annually. YUP, that is with a B for Billions.

I see this with the clients I work with when we sit down to pay bills. They enjoy writing checks and giving to charities. However, when I ask, they typically can’t tell me anything about how the charity will use their money, and when we look at prior giving never previously gave to them.

I addressed this with my Mom by giving her a check book that had a limited amount of cash in it so she could write checks and give to the charities she choose. Within a few months the check writing stopped. After a while she just got overwhelmed trying to manage the register and balance the checkbook. We continued to give annually each January using Charity Navigator as had been their giving habit. We recycled all the donation requests that came in the mail.

For individuals that continue to enjoy writing the checks that we work with, we build a master charity roster. We make it easy for them to see when and how much they already have given.

In general, once you give to a charity, they send you solicitation requests monthly. They also sell your name to affiliated charities. Sadly, there is no real way to stop the mail. The Do Not Mail list never worked for me, my parents, or any of my clients. Now they actually charge a $2 fee if you want to get added. The only effective way to have them stop is to no longer give. They will eventually drop your name from the list.

For charities those charities to which you want to contribute, contact them directly to give. Make your giving contingent on that fact that they won’t sell your name which is your right.

For many who are starting to feel the loss of their memory, helping them enjoy the things they can do is positive for everyone. Given.

Best wishes for a Happy Thanksgiving.