Nearly 9 years ago I started to share some of my caregiving stories on this blog. As the local family member who was watching her parents fail and behave in new and unusual ways, I was horrified and amused.

Some things were so odd that I couldn’t control my laughter when they happened. Thankfully, my parents would usually join in. We had a great relationship. As the baby of the family, I benefited from my older siblings being teens in teh 70’s and breaking in mom and dad. I was also the only one that stayed around after college. We shared many meals, they were around for two grand-kids, and I often tagged along on my mother’s trips to auctions for her antique’s business.

On this one day, my Dad seemed to finally acknowledge that something was wrong. He had been driving to my home for ten years and we lived a few miles away. Instead of arriving early, he showed up half an hour late and filled with anxiety — two things no one would have associated with my dad.

Driving with cognitive impairment is a risk. Now there is a huge variety to term “cognitive impairment” and in general, any noticeable loss of short-term memory could really put a driver, their passenger and others on the road at risk. Changes to the brain that result in memory loss can change thinking and behavoir.

For someone who is already losing, being asked and expected to give up something by choice, that may not seem like a risk, is a much bigger deal than we often consider. Here are a few tips from Mayo Clinic on how to bring up the subject, include them in the discussions, and incorporate their doctor to understand how their cognitive issues could impact driving.

This is usually one of the first big battles. Approach it softly, identify your concerns plainly, and listen openly to help walk this early road and maybe find a silver lining in how you resolve it. Experienced.