Happy 81st Birthday Mom

Tomorrow is my mom’s 81st birthday. I’ve chewed through a few options and settled on hosting them at our house and feeding her dishes from her own cookbook. That is if they are where they say they would be when I call tomorrow.

I was going to do the traditional brunch we do at the retirement home, but that seems ordinary. Then I considered taking her to a local brunch with a 5 foot chocolate fountain – but I know that new places are difficult for her to absorb.

So, I have prepared her classic brunch favorites and hope they will eat at our home tomorrow.

One year I gave my mom white roses and she commented on them so much, I’ve made this a birthday tradition. This year, as I was cutting the roses, I noticed the name of this variety is “Vendeta”.

According to Dictionary.com, “Vendetta” is any prolonged and bitter feud, rivalry, contention.

On top of all the new issues dementia of a parent brings, you have to mix in the parent-child dynamics, mix in the sibling-sibling conflicts, and you realize that 90 percent of the battle has nothing to do with the dementia, but with loss, anger, resentment, pride. This list goes on and on.

The best present my siblings and I are giving to my mom is our will to stay united. I’m the latest to crumble at the enormity of my parents needs and my brother and sister patiently listen and step in when they know I’m on overload. In speaking with many other children, we are a rarity.

Happy Birthday Mom. Wished.