It took several months and varied doctors to find that my Dad has a tumor in his mouth. We started with the Oral Surgeon who has referred us to an Ear, Nose and Throat (ENT) specialist and orders a CT Scan. It takes several days before we can get appointments. Our first is to get the CT Scan.

This time I arrive with forms filled out. After a short wait they escort my Dad back to perform the scan. He returns a half-hour later. While we wait, I looked for local places to eat that would interest him. He has always been an adventurous eater. I find a local place that is well rated on YELP that offers empanadas. I tell him what I found and he agrees to try it with me.

We arrive and order a few with drinks. He tries his best to enjoy the food, but I can see he’s having trouble with anything that has texture. I realize that he should be on a liquid and soft foods diet. Eating is just too hard for him now.

I wonder how this could have progressed so far without anyone in his Assisted Living community noticing and even having it go undetected at his annual physical which just happened a few weeks ago. We now know something is very wrong and it’s going to take a few weeks to even understand it and learn if there is anyway to make him comfortable.

I sense a new lesson coming on. How will we manage cancer in my father who is also dealing with dementia? Vexed.