Preface: The forced transition into Assisted Living

timebombSo many things have happened since I got the call that my parents were being terminated from the retirement community. I wanted to write, but was afraid of putting out a series of Tarantino-esque blog posts that did not convey what was happening, make sense or share what we have been learning from this experience.

Before I got the call from the retirement community Executive Director(ED) notifying me that they were going to require that my parents move into Assisted Living, many warning shots were fired. Two months prior the ED and Manager of the Independent Living community requested a meeting with my parents. I also attended. They provided my parents with a list of concerns and suggested that they consider hiring a personal assistant to help them – particularly in the afternoons and early evenings. My parents refused.

After this meeting, enough events had happened that the retirement community made a report to Adult Protective Services (APS).  APS visited several times and did follow-up calls with both myself and brother. APS closed the case since they did not see an immediate danger to my parents or others.

We chose not to pursue guardianship. We were not willing to initiate this court proceeding of which our parents would understand we were declaring them incompetent only to move them into Assisted Living.

There were several events where my parents were disruptive or a concern was raised that they could harm others. My parent’s behavior was getting bizarre in late afternoon. The Independent Living community was not the right fit for my parents any longer.

Their dinner companions, their life-long friends, the retirement community staff and several doctors have all suggested my parents consider getting an aide or moving into Assisted Living. My parents refused or were unable to accept the need to make changes.

The retirement community invoked their right to move my parents into the next level of care. Over the next few weeks, I hope to share what we went through and what we learned. Explained.  

4 thoughts on “Preface: The forced transition into Assisted Living

  1. Unfortunately, no matter how hard the family tries to plan ahead, often it takes a crisis or sentinel event to precipitate the move to assisted living. I am glad you are able to work with your siblings to help your parents make this transition.

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