I recently attended a session hosted at my Mom’s Continuing Care Retirement Community (CCRC). My parents made this choice more than 15 years ago, however, it’s not like you don’t wonder what it would have been like if they had opted to age-in-place.
“Aging-in-place” is a hot topic now, and in reality there are many “aging” options. In addition to a CCRC, there are local adult care options, many offered by local government and non-profits; in-home care and group home care. As a society, we seemed to have moved away from living with children, but I’m feeling a little guilt about that now. My Mom seems terribly lonely, but I know the move would be difficult on her cognitively.
Had my parent’s opted to “age in place”, we would most likely have had to take my parents to court to gain guardianship. Because they both moved into dementia together, they really didn’t recognize how much difficulty they were having managing on a day-to-day basis. I’m thankful we never had to pursue this option. My parents would have recognized and been very hurt by this process.
I know I’m lucky my parent’s made this choice and can afford it. The support of my parents over the past two years has been overwhelming at times. Now, it’s comforting to know that I’m not responsible for my mother’s care 24/7.
It has me wondering how my husband and I will manage this decision. Nothing is perfect, but given the wave of aging loved ones that is going to build in the coming years, I want to start having this conversation now. Discussed.