Four years ago, I wrote about how common it is for parents to refuse help from their children.
We all noticed that mom and dad were failing and very concerned for their safety as well as for the safety of others. Twice, all of my siblings flew in and we had a meal and shared our concerns with our parents. They deflected, delayed, and ignored our concerns.
Just last year, I learned that there is a medical term (Anosognosia) that describes the inability for someone with a cognitive issue to recognize they need help. Looking back, there are several things I would have done differently, but it took time to understand and adapt. Ultimately, I learned that I had to change because my parents could not.
Know that the first thing to recognize, especially for a mature individual, is that meaning and purpose is vital to their feelings of self-worth. While it might be easier to do something for them, can you do it with them?
Ultimately, I spent the first year plus being watchful and helping out when I could. I had to wait until their was a critical incident to be able to cultivate the change in my relationship with my parents so I could help. There was a broken hip, a stroke, and then the threat of being kicked out of their retirement community.
As a sandwich generation caregiver, I was constantly trying to plug the leaky holes in my parent’s life boat while raising two kids at home. I hope you will find this blog and the services of MemoryBanc can help make this journey easier for you.
If you have a question or hit a roadblock and want a suggestion, I’m happy to help make your journey easier. To set-up a call, contact my office at 703.436.2827. Offered.