Category: Important Organization for Caregivers

Worried about Mom’s Health and Safety

Many adult children start to notice changes in mom or dad. Depending on your family dynamic, you may know a lot or very little about what they have planned for the rest of their lives.  Many of us want to be able to help our parents if they needed it, and most of our parents are resistant to even consider asking for help from their children.

My suggestion is to start by sharing with your parents your plans. Do you have an estate plan in place? Have you named them as a guardian or executor? I’m surprised by how many people who think estate plans should be secret. Secret estate plans won’t help you when you need it. I sent copies of my completed estate plans to my three siblings and sat down and discussed it at length with my brother who would be guardian to my children along with my children one Saturday afternoon this winter. I could see the comfort on my 12-year old daughter’s face as we talked through the plan.

My children have watched as I’ve been the primary adult caregiver for my parents which I have been blogging about for several years on DealingwithDementia.org.  Had my parents not told me their plans and shared their wishes for retirement with me, my job would be so much more difficult and stressful. I know that I’ve been fulfilling their wishes to the best of my abilities.

It’s particularly important to do more than the estate lawyer, financial planner and insurance advisor recommend. You need to talk about your choices, leave a roadmap to your documents, accounts, and assets and repeat these conversations as time and circumstances allow.

I recommend you get your own house in order and use it to share with mom and dad what you are doing and even ask for their advice. It’s a great way to start a conversation.

Four products to help you navigate these choices include:

Five Wishes  is legally binding in 42 states and lets your family and doctors know:

  • Who you want to make health care decisions for you when you can’t make them.
  • The kind of medical treatment you want or don’t want.
  • How comfortable you want to be.
  • How you want people to treat you.
  • What you want your loved ones to know.

The Conversation Project is dedicated to helping people start the discussion about their wishes for end-of-life care.

The Roadmap to the Rest of Your Life by Bart Astor will help you hone in on the options and the choices that you need to consider.

MemoryBanc: Your Workbook for Organizing Life is a practical system to help couples share account numbers, usernames, and medical and household details so that they can stay on the same page; it also provides individuals a solution to easily share this information should they ever need a loved one to step in and help them.

Three ways to ensure you aren’t a victim of online banking fraud

On the heals of the story that broke last week about How Hackers Took as Much as $1 Billion from Banks, it’s positive to note that the victim of the theft was the banks, not the consumers.

I have been teaching classes on how to “Tame the Internet” and am surprised by how many attendees have never used online banking. If you fall into this category, or are concerned, you should know that:

  1. Make sure you are using an American bank that is insured against theft by the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp. The insurance applies to any sum up to $250,000 in checking, a savings account or a certificate of deposit at a U.S. bank.
  2. Be vigilant about monitoring your transactions and respond to alerts from your bank if a charge or withdrawal appears to be suspicious.
  3. Never respond to emails from your bank or click on an attachment. Because of the amount of fraud, banks aren’t using email to communicate more than a basic alert or a sales notice to their customers. If you are concerned, contact your bank by phone or in person (but don’t use information included in the email you received), or for those of you with online banking, log in and check to see if there is a message posted in the online portal.

Online banking has many benefits, from a simple way to set up bill payments to a historical portal to your banking statements. As the primary family caregiver to my parents when they could no longer manage for themselves, I have found online banking an incredible time and effort saver for me.

What happens to your digital footprint when you die?

facebookThe owner(s) of the online site(s) you accepted the “terms and conditions” to before getting access dictate your digital rights on their service. Our world moved faster than the laws and after years of frustration, many of the online giants are starting to do more to address the issue of digital asset rights for their users. Google created an “Inactive Account Manager” but it is only a very broad safety net. The shortest term for inactivity is 3 months.

Given that more people face a crisis or permanent disability before they die, the only way to ensure your loved ones have access to help you is to hand over a list of your usernames and passcodes. For a free tool to better understand and document you information, you can download a copy of “Taming the Internet: Keeping Track of Online Passcodes.” 

According to Slate, Facebook is rolling out an option that lets users choose to have their account wiped out upon death. The other option is to designate a hand-selected “legacy contact.”

I’m glad Facebook has done something, however, since 7 out of 10 Americans that turn 65 will need 3 years of care before they die, we must recognize that someone needs to be able to assist us long before we leave this planet and this isn’t just an issue for older americans. At the age of 40 nearly half of Americans will face a disability lasting 90-days; are you prepared to let a loved one step in and help you when you need it?

I encourage you to set up a system to be able to share the digital keys to your estate, should someone need to act on your behalf, if even only temporarily.

 

Taming the Internet: Keeping Track of Online Passcodes

The average adult has more than 28 online accounts and passcodes to manage. Most of us keep this in our head, on our mobile phone, under the keyboard … which does not make it a fool-proof system for you to manage. What many of us don’t know is what would happen to our online accounts and assets if we were incapacitated as well as when we pass away. Even those with estate plans are surprised to learn of the limitations.

To get take control of your online accounts and assets, you can download a free excerpt from MemoryBanc: Your Workbook for Organizing Life, which is available from a variety of online and retail bookstores.

tamingtheinternetMemoryBanc is an award-winning system to manage your documents, accounts and assets, and you can download the chapter covering your online assets “Taming the Internet: Keeping Track of Online Passcodes”  that includes:

  • a worksheet for documenting your important usernames and passcodes
  • a worksheet for recording your online security questions and answers
  • information on why documenting this information is important for you and your loved ones

Click here to download this free chapter and get started now.

What the Death of Robin Williams Can Teach Us

By all accounts, Robin Williams had his estate plan zipped-up. He had a will and trust and even named professional trustees, so why is the family at odds over things after his death?

Grief impacts everyone very differently. As a suicide, it’s not just sudden but the nature of the death can complicate the grieving process.

From the latest reports, there is disagreement about how items are defined. A colleague of mine who is a professional appraiser has shared how contentious items with personal meaning but little value can wreak on a family. She commented that it’s interesting that so many parents who raised kids that argued over the last cookie expect their adult children to behave any better when it comes to settling their estate.

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photo credit: nbc.com

 

It seems Robin Williams put immense thought into his plan, but it sounds like there is some ambiguity and now both his wife and children who are still grieving are arguing over his things.

What Robin Williams Can Teach Us: It’s not enough to create the perfect estate plan. You have to tell those people who are impacted about your plan. Make it a part of normal conversations and allow your loved ones to ask questions and understand your wishes. You might not be around to appreciate it, but they will.

3 Products and Services to Help You Get It Together in 2015

This story originally appeared on SpareFoot, but I’m re-sharing and paring down the list to 3 key products that will help you mind the important stuff (documents, accounts, and assets) better. Visit this link to read the complete list.

Getting organized can be a bore and a chore, but various innovations are helping take some of the drudgery out of getting the important things organized.

1. MemoryBanc

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MemoryBanc, a system that comes in written or electronic formats, lets someone collect and manage usernames; passcodes; and financial, medical, household and personal documents.

“Adults are creating written roadmaps to their documents, accounts and assets. Many are concerned about sharing key personal information in the cloud or a cloud-based solution and are using traditional pen and paper instead,” said Kay Bransford, president and chief curator of MemoryBanc.

2. Doorstep Digital

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As the name implies, Doorstep Digital brings digital archiving to your door. In nine U.S. cities, digital archivists will come to your home to preserve photos, slides, negatives, documents and artwork. Company executives say this does away with the risk of priceless items being damaged or lost when they’re archived outside your home.

So far, the service is available in Austin, Dallas, Houston and San Antonio, TX; Baton Rouge and New Orleans, LA; Chicago, IL; Denver, CO; and Seattle, WA.

After my father passed away, I used a photo scanning service to digitize selected photographs of his life that we used at his memorial service and that I could share with my siblings. I now have a digital archive of our most treasured family photographs.

3. Fujitsu Scansnap

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Fujitsu Scansnap scanners reduce paper clutter by allowing you to scan and store an array of documents. Turner said such scanners are becoming more affordable.

“I’m not sure I would say that 2015 will be a breakthrough year, but I definitely see desktop scanners being fairly typical by 2020,” she said.

I have been managing my parent’s financial, personal and medical lives for over 3 years. This is the one tool that has helped me stay organized while not being overloaded with paper. Be careful – it’s addictive!

Using a Durable Power of Attorney (DPOA)

My parents did what the estate lawyer recommended. As well as the financial planner and insurance professional. However, when the time came for me to step in and help them using their Durable Power of Attorney (DPOA), things were a little more difficult that we all expected.

One of the major firms told me they would not accept a DPOA that was over two years old; a second told me they didn’t accept ones more than five years old. It happens though it shouldn’t, and sometimes you may need the lawyer who drafted the agreement to pursue it for you.

Legal tools alone won’t handle every situation. However, every adult should consider meeting with an estate lawyer to discuss your needs.  Because of my experience, I recommend that even those with estate plans take the extra step of documenting their information. For the estimated bulk of Americans without any estate plans (power of attorney, medical directives, will) , for your own best-interest, you should get your documents, accounts, and assets organized.

In my case, my dad sat down with me and we created online access to many of their accounts from their retirement to utilities, so that I could easily help pay bills, manage cash flow, their household and finances.

Are you prepared? If not, my free gift to you is a list of the items you need to document, download it here.

To get a copy of the award-winning system to help you collect and organize your documents, accounts, and assets, you can order a copy from Amazon, BAM!, or Barnes & Noble.  For $17.95, MemoryBanc: Your Workbook for Organizing Life will not only help you easily find your important information, but will give a road map to a loved one who you may need to step in and help, if even only temporarily.

Does some of the unclaimed $58 billion belong to you?

bag of moneyCNNMoney ran a story $58 billion unclaimed: Is some of it yours? and Good Morning America hosted a segment called “Show me the Money” where they helped people get connected to money that is rightfully theirs. It’s easy to overlook an insurance policy, deed or even have a bank account fall off the radar screen in a crisis, move and even after death.

This isn’t a new problem and the amount of money involved highlights the enormity of this issue. Most American’s have no idea they may have money sitting in a state or federal treasury, just waiting to be claimed.

Last year, we claimed $2,500 of my father’s money from Leavenworth, Kansas. We moved from there in 1969. Apparently some old stock certificates got left behind and had matured over the years. My parents were very organized. As the kid who had to step in to help them, they did everything the estate lawyer, financial planner and insurance advisor suggested. There are some gaps in those recommendations and we will never know the history, but do know that in 1969, as a LTC in the Army with 4 kids at home, they needed that money. That year my parents borrowed $6,000 from my grandparents so they could purchase our new home in Virginia.

If you want to find out if you have a right to this pool of unclaimed money, I suggest you start at MissingMoney.com. You can do a search by name to see if you might have money waiting for you. I also recommend you search for loved ones since most people aren’t familiar with this site. A search by my sister ended up with us learning about my dad’s money.

There are two ways to claim your money and you can decide which path is right for you.

  1. Use the services offered for the claim process on MissingMoney.com.  They will charge you a finder’s fee, but some claims may require additional documents and they should be able to help you get what you need to claim the money.  Before you start, find out how much money is to be claimed as well as how much they will charge you for the assistance.
  2. Claim the money directly from the state treasury where it’s being held. We did my dad’s claim ourselves. On the Kansas state government website, we searched for “unclaimed property” and found the page that told us how to request the money. Within a few weeks we received a check. You should be able to find the instructions on how to claim your money on both state and federal websites by searching for “unclaimed property.”

Best wishes on your treasure hunt.

The Entrepreneurial Journey

I founded MemoryBanc after working for more than 20 years in small, growing entrepreneurial firms. I considered myself an entrepreneur because I was adept at helping small businesses define their market and grow.  I loved working in small companies where your job lines were blurry and you had to be a jack-of-all-trades.

When my parent’s health was failing and I needed to step in to help, my full-time corporate job required that I be an effective leader and demanded long hours, and I desired to be a good wife and mom; I became overwhelmed by life. I was no longer satisfied and set out to redefine how I was prioritizing family, job, health and my faith.

In caring for my parents, I stumbled onto an unmet market need and started to work on the business plan. It felt onerous. I was using a life coach at the time to help me and she asked me to define “Entrepreneur.” While the dictionary says it’s “a person who organizes and manages any enterprise, especially a business, usually with considerable initiative and risk” what I needed to learn was that I needed to believe 110% in the business idea and should only pursue it if not doing so would cause me greater distress.

I was scared. I was leaving a great job with good benefits and pay and leaping into an unpaid job with incredible risk and that required at least a $60,000 investment to get started.

I realized that I was passionate about the business I was building when I started to see how what I had been through was already helping others.  I saved the money to launch the business and jumped. I’m lucky to have a supportive spouse and the ability to put the money back into MemoryBanc to continue to see it grow.

In 2015, our goal is to make a difference in the lives of a quarter of a million people. That’s right, we want to educate and share our free tools with 250,000 individuals to encourage them to organize the information that surrounds their lives.  Being an entrepreneur is the unquenchable desire to build the business and the ability to be ready to make all the decisions, make mistakes, and dust yourself off and use what you’ve learned to build a stronger, better organization.

I will share more on this topic at the Prince William Chamber of Commerce Women’s Leadership Conference on Thursday, February 12, 11:00 a.m.  I hope to meet you there.

What is an Entrepreneur?

Kay spent 20+years helping small companies grow and considered herself entrepreneurial. When it came time to launch, grow, and run her own business, things felt very different. In this session, you will learn:

  • What it really means to be an entrepreneur
  • How listening and mindfulness matter
  • What it takes to make it happen

The documents you need when a crisis strikes

I was the adult child named on the Durable Power of Attorney (DPOA) that needed to step in and use it. It was VERY difficult to use in several cases. For a more detailed look at my history, you can visit the blog I’ve been writing for three years on caring for two parents. One way to ensure that the individual you have named with this power can help you is to create a roadmap of the documents, accounts, and assets they may need to manage until you are back on your feet, or inevitably, to settle your estate.

My parents did everything that was recommended by their estate lawyer, financial planner and life insurance provider. However, they prepared most of the information to be delivered to me after they were gone. When they were too ill to manage on their own, I needed to know about their medical history, banking accounts, online services, household warranties … the list was daunting.

If you are named, or have named someone as your DPOA in your estate planning, you should sit down with them to review the location of important documents and instructions. After 40, nearly half of all American’s are expected to have a disability event lasting 90 days. It doesn’t need to be gloomy–as I reported on how I  shared my plans with the individual who I would expect to help me as well as with my children who are only 12 and 17 years old.

3DcoverFor an easy to use workbook that will guide you through the collection of your documents, accounts, and assets so that you can easily find the information when it’s needed, or could share it in a crisis, you can order MemoryBanc: Your Workbook for Organizing Life from any of these popular retailers at a pre-release discount today.

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Isn’t a Durable Power of Attorney (DPOA) All I Need?

While I believe the DPOA is important for any adult over 18 years of age to have in place, there is no one-stop solution. Because most people will need someone to step in and help them during their adult life, if even only for a few weeks, in addition to having the DPOA, they will need to know how to step in and help, and that is why a solution like MemoryBanc is a necessity.

The DPOA was the most important document I held that allowed me to help my parents when their health started to fail. Some institutions readily accepted it when I provided a copy, and I was quickly added to their accounts.

However, in several cases it was very difficult to use. Even though my state (Virginia) has a statute requiring institutions to accept the document. In my case, one financial institution would not accept it because it was more than two years old and a second refused because it was more than five years old. Some institutions took several months and repeated phone calls before I was granted the ability to act on my parent’s behalf.

If you don’t have a durable power of attorney, you can request and complete the “power of attorney” form from the specific financial institution. These forms are designed to allow account holders to define individuals and access rights. You will have to complete one from each institution for access, and these immediately take effect. But if someone is incapacitated, it will be too late to go this route. These documents require a notary to validate identification, and the signer will need to be alert and have decision-making capacity.

An invaluable safeguard is to use a system like MemoryBanc to record the locations of your documents, details on your accounts, and assets. This system  provides loved ones with a roadmap to assist you should help ever be needed.