Category: Uncategorized

The Subtle Forms of Elder Abuse Family Members Miss

fraudYour loved one wants to stay in their home and you are concerned. Over and over, I’m finding that even my clients who have involved adult children are victims of some subtle forms of elder abuse that is stealing away hundreds to thousands of dollars a month of their parent’s money.

In the past month, I’ve had a client that got taken by a face cream offer. She does not have any cognitive issues and is now caring for a loved one with Parkinson’s. She never managed the money, so she asked me to step in to help her understand and manage the cash flow and help with budgeting since the expenses are starting to escalate with her husband’s care. When we started to review the credit card, I asked her what Lye Ludermacell was. She said it was a “free” face cream trial where she paid for shipping. Well, there was more than $200 of other charges for products on her credit card. She was very angry, as have been several thousands of clients taken in by the same scam. Michelle Singletary (The Washington Post) wrote about it earlier this month. We called to cancel and recouped 75% of the charges on the products she had received. We discussed how ANY offer, no matter how credible looking that says FREE and then asks for a credit card is trouble.  Had we not looked through her credit card billing item by item, she may not have noticed for months–if even at all.  So many older adults just set the bill on auto-pay and don’t scan the monthly bills. That is a very dangerous habit when so many individuals and even organizations are working to get to your money.

A few months ago, I spent more than 45 minutes with Juno trying to cancel the service for dial-up Internet my client was still paying for. She just never thought to question the monthly $9.95 billing for Juno even though she had wifi in her house. We also found a “free shipping” subscription billing her $25 monthly she had no idea how to use or what it was. So Juno took over $1,000 of her money and the shipping subscription had been billing her for two years for more than $600 of her money. I have ten zillions ways I could spend $1,600!

The one issue that is troubling me the most is for a client with mild cognitive impairment who generally is doing fine living at home. Not only is his daughter involved, but I visit him twice a week and we have an Aging Life Care Manager Another who is helping manage his medical visits and medications. When I noticed he had a physical therapy (PT) appointment on his schedule and neither his daughter or the Aging Life Care Manager knew about it, I made a point to stop by during his next PT session at home. It turns out that six months ago, his doctor recommended PT and they had an agency come in for a few weeks. It was determined after a few visits that he didn’t need it any longer.

So here’s the dirty underbelly of health care — somehow the first company passed the order to an affiliate who called my client to say the doctor ordered PT and started scheduling both PT and Occupational Therapy appointments (medication management). When I shared what I found, his daughter quickly called to shut down the service and cancel all future appointments, but the first few visits were billed to his Medicare account. Technically, the health care agency was implementing the doctors order, but it was already determined he didn’t need the services by the first therapist.

It’s the small issues that can add up making someone with cognitive issues living alone incredibly tricky. You want them to maintain the independence and lead the life they want, but you are faced with a number of risks from safety and fraud that mean another choice might be better.  

You may want to consider bringing in a Daily Money Manager who is skilled at helping protect an individuals’ financial interests. You can find one in your area here.

Named to Top Alzheimer’s Blogs of 2016

Had my parent’s had a road map to their personal information, I would have been able to spend more time with them and not dealing with chaos I faced in trying to step in to help them. Most of us don’t have this in place, but I hope you will consider that doing this will immediately benefit you, and your loved ones should they need to step in and help. A simple tool to get started can be found in most bookstores called “MemoryBanc: Your Workbook for Organizing Life”.

When Should I Share Digital Assets?

Writing down your usernames and passcodes not only will benefit you immediately (think of all the time you waste resetting passcodes), but will benefit your loved ones should they ever need to step in and help you.

Will Digital Data Ever Be Secure?

Minding your information isn’t just for the traditional accounts. Your online accounts might be the most important to document because there is no back-up solution and most providers will not offer it.

The Ongoing Role of Advocacy for Caregivers

When someone needs to step in to help you–and I say when because the likelihood that this will happen if you are over 40 is close to 90 percent–having your information organized and making your sure your loved know your wishes is important. Do it while you are healthy!

Why you need to know your kids passcodes

PN_headerI was interviewed on Parent Nation about why parents should have their kids document their usernames and passcodes. Most parents have no idea they have no right to the online accounts and assets of their children. It’s one of the ways our modern world has moved faster than the law and parenting guidebooks.

It’s not just a parenting concern, but should be a spousal concern. For those of you who share an Apple account, the The Washington Post recently carried a story, Her dying husband left her the house and the car, but he forgot the Apple password. This relatively simple issue makes no practical sense, but is the reality for those of you not aware that no marital rights or power of attorney can grant you this access. The idea of digital executor is still just a theoretical practice–unless you document your usernames and passcodes for the one who will step in and help or settle your affairs.

I think it’s so important, I have been giving away the chapter on “Taming the Internet” from MemoryBanc: Your Workbook for Organizing Life. This chapter gives you free forms to help you take control of your online assets, as well as share the worksheets with loved ones who can document their accounts and put them in a sealed envelope you hope you never need to open. I keep mine by my computer and frequently rely on them to help me access the more than 80 accounts I have. Every quarter, I give back the envelopes to my family to update and return to me.

I never expected to learn so much during this phase of my life, but the least I can do is share it with others in hopes that it will save you time, effort, and grief.

How to Avoid OverPaying On Things You Already Own

Tom Savino with Savino Veritas requested an interview to discuss humorous topics related to how couples communicate. There are so many issues I have learned as a wife, mother, and daughter about what we share and don’t share with our spouse. I hadn’t really understood the depth of what seems to be the divide-and-conquer household until I launched MemoryBanc.

When most of my clients turned out to be couples, I learned how important it was for families to share their documents, accounts, and details and how often the information mattered in terms of time and money. We recently saved hundreds of dollars on a replacement cell phone for my son because I was able to login to my husband’s account and order it online while my husband was traveling. On the flip-side, I was able to ensure my husband knew the service call on the dishwasher was covered by the warranty when I was traveling and he had to meet the repair man who presented him with a bill for the service. Our ability to coordinate our shared lives saved us over $800.

For couples that use the online bill payment portal in their joint bank account, I hope you will sit down with you spouse to share the access codes and set-up. What most joint account owners do not know is that the bill pay portal is specific to the user, so if you wanted to change, stop, or modify a payment set up by your joint account partner– you could not without their login credentials. For this reason, my husband and I break the rules and share one username and passcode.

If you got some time, listen here, it’s a very different type of show and I had a fun time talking with him.

If you recognize you might not be so organized, here are some links to free downloads that can help you get started:

FamilyPackIf you know you want to avoid putting it off ’til tomorrow and benefit from coordinating this information with your spouse, you can order a copy of the workbook from Amazon or get a discounted 5 pack ($11.95 each or 40 percent off) that you can share over Thanksgiving with your family from MemoryBanc.

Why 7 Out of 10 Couples Don’t Know How to Access Joint Accounts

I was interviewed by Drs. Rob + Janelle Alex, Ph.D. who wanted to understand why 7 out of 10 couples would benefit by getting their finances and their household on the same page on their program Author’s Talk About It. Five years ago I would have had no idea how disconnected most couples are when it comes to their joint assets.

When I launched MemoryBanc, I did it believing I would be helping other caregivers. However, when the first year of sales ended up being mostly couples between 40 and 60, I realized there was a larger market need for our products and services. We do help quite a few caregivers, but they are dwarfed by the number of couples that use MemoryBanc as a tool to coordinate their shared lives.

Consumer Reports shared that only 3 out of 10 couples could cite and knew how to access the three largest financial accounts of their household–that means 7 out of 10 don’t! Consumer Reports.org went on to share that only 28 percent of couples are completely confident that their partner is prepared to assume responsibility of their joint retirement finances.

Do you know your finances if something were to happen to your partner? The last thing you want to deal with is how to access financial accounts, pay bills, or get into your online services portal if something were to happen to your loved one. This summer when my son broke his phone, the only way to get a replacement mobile phone without a major penalty fee ($500) when my husband was traveling was to order one online from the AT&T account he set up. Not only did I need his passcodes, but I also needed to answer a security question. Thankfully, I had these close at hand.

authorstalkThe reason 7 out of 10 couples don’t have this information is because many of us divide-and-conquer. Our lives are much more complicated and we have to manage a lot more information than we did even twenty years ago. It’s one of the reasons $58 billion is sitting with state and federal treasurers in unclaimed money.

To get a handle on your joint finances and household assets, you can get a copy of MemoryBanc: Your Workbook for Organizing Life from Amazon for $15.33 (plus shipping if you don’t have Prime). That’s a 23 percent discount.

If you aren’t ready to make this leap, but want to get started, you can download a free chapter “Taming the Internet” now. I hope you will at least begin this important conversation.