Tag: dementia caregiver support

Tips to Organize Your Personal Information / A Loved Ones Information

There are many of us that have lived or are still living as a caregiver for someone with dementia. Lori La Bey who founded Alzheimer’s Speaks invited me to her radio show to discuss getting organized as a tool to help give more control to caregivers as well as a how to get it done and connect with your loved ones.

You can view the interview on YouTube, or listen to the podcast on blogtalkradio, or visit her blog that includes the video and many other resources.

It took me a year to get a handle on all of my parent’s information so I could be a good advocate. While your loved ones may not be able to recite the information, now that we have more time on our hands … I hope you might use it to connect with your loved ones who may need some help getting organized. Here is a free copy of a collection checklist and guide to what you need to save and what you should shred. Shared.

Now it’s Time to Get Organized

While our social lives are slowing down, now is a good time to work with your spouse, partner, family, and friends to build a roadmap of your important personal documents, asset details, and account information.

You can download a free checklist here to get started.

While I initially created this checklist for caregivers, I found it was incredibly useful to organize all of the information that surrounds my family. I also went from two drawers in a filing cabinet to one 2-inch three ring binder.

You can download a free copy of the checklist (and get a simple guide on what to save and what to shred) to put together a binder of your information. In my house it sits on the desk in our home office so everyone can find the information when it is needed.

I hope you will find it useful for you and your loved ones. Feel free to share this PDF. Given.

Will the bank accept your Power of Attorney?

As the adult family caregiver named as power of attorney, I had an incredibly difficult time getting my Mom’s banks to recognize her power of attorney so I could officially support her. It was less than 2 years old, I provided the original, but since my Mom was alive, they wanted her to come with me to the bank and to sign their power of attorney documentation.

My Mom was so unsteady on her feet she needed a wheel chair. It was difficult and uncomfortable for her to go out. She never wanted to be in a wheel chair and half our journey’s out were battles over getting her to sit down. She was also incredibly frail and the task of just getting into the car would wear her out.

Wasn’t that the point of the Power of Attorney (POA)? I was very frustrated when the banks just failed to recognize my POA. In Virginia I could have pursued a legal suit … but I was already busy enough as my Mom’s family caregiver.

I am not alone as The New York Times story “Finding Out Your Power of Attorney is Worthless” confirms. Sadly, it is not just an issue of the Power of Attorney, but family members are still reporting difficulty getting banks to release funds after death. Here is a recent NBC News story about how difficult it was for Maggie Mulqueen when working with Citibank.

For years, I just used the online banking access to manage my parent’s finances. When I ran into issues, I would either have my Mom sign checks to move the money or just shut down the accounts. When USAA wouldn’t recognize the POA, I didn’t pay to renew my parent’s insurance and moved the account to a new insurance provider. There are some ways to end-around the roadblocks, but it seems ridiculous to have to out- maneuver the bank.

This past week, I walked into two banks to establish myself as Power of Attorney for a client. I need to get her past banking history since no taxes were filed since 2017, and need to be able to sign checks on the days when she is too weak to help. Remarkably, both banks (SunTrust and Wells Fargo) were extremely accommodating. I even had a note from the doctor stating she was unable to manage her own affairs, but did not have to provide it.

I learned two things:

  • You can’t have an active credit freeze. As Power of Attorney, they will create a new bank profile (requires a credit check) for you that is attached to the individuals bank account(s).
  • They view adult children differently than professionals that act as Powers of Attorney.

My logical brain understands this, but my journey as the adult child who was trying to help my parents DETESTS this varied treatment.

Maybe things are changing? Adult family caregivers … what are you finding? Curious.

THANKS to Ashley — Good food for thought and was a tactic I used when I was caring for my parents. Her lawyer suggested she not disclose the information to the bank. Thankfully, her parents added her to their bank account. After I hit a few roadblocks, I just set up online access to most of my parents accounts and did as much as I could digitally and in the spirit of their Power of Attorney. When I hit roadblocks and went to the bank with my POA was when I learned how difficult it was to get them to honor it.

Delirium and surgery common after 65

I am guessing that more doctors liked when patients were not armed with so much information. However, between whole sections of our daily newspaper that cover health issues and the internet, we can probably be everything from better patients to difficult to help. As an individual with the need to constantly learn, I love pouring over the Health & Science section of the The Washington Post. Today, it includes a story from Muriel Dobbin who talks about the delirium she experienced after surgery. Apparently, up to 46 percent of all surgery patients are struck annually by “postoperative delirium” that is marked by confused thinking, disruption of mental faculties, and anxiety. In older patients, the figure hits 70 to 87 percent who end up in intensive care. It can last days, weeks, months, and in some cases years.

delirium
Do your loved know how to access your digital accounts if you were temporarily unable to manage for yourself?

In general, we are bad at making up a plan B for ourselves should we be incapacitated if only for a few days or weeks. It’s why more than $60 billion is sitting with state and Federal treasurers — no one documented their money or assets and how to get to it and eventually it ends up in the unclaimed money pool.

While I walked into this recognition because of my time as a caregiver for my parents, it made me realize how fragile my own household information was and how important it was to create a roadmap of our accounts, document all my user names and passcodes, as well as write down the answers to all of my security questions.

Once a week I hear from an adult child that is frustrated that their parent doesn’t have this information together and they are overwhelmed. My first recommendation is to do it for yourself … and maybe do it with your loved one so you are both organized. This is not just something you need to do when you hit 40. The complications of our digital word make this something every adult should do.

Most often, I end up walking into an older adults home and sorting through piles of mail to try to quickly build a financial profile. I’m typically working with a spouse who has no idea how to even begin on top of the grief and worry they are feeling as a loved one is in a hospital or rehab facility. For many baby boomers, I am finding that they manage their own accounts and often divide and conquer and don’t have a shared vision of their household assets.

I hope this will give you the incentive to now do it for yourself. You can get a free checklist of what to organize here. It won’t require more than 2 inch ringer binder to get it together. If you would rather be walked through the collection process, you can order the workbook on Amazon for $17.16. Recommended.

To see if you have money in the missing money pool, visit www.MissingMoney.com