Use It or Lose It Applies to your Memory Too

I have three clients all with Memory issues that have shown a noticeable uptick in their engagement and activity. Unfortunately, it isn’t all of them so I started to see if there was any patterns that applied to all three.

In the past one to two months, all three of them have had more social engagement. They are all widowed, and live alone. None of them had previously had much social interaction due to giving up car keys, moving into a new community, or even just because for the last year they were giving care to a loved one.

When you visit with them, initially you may not even notice they have any short-term memory issues. However, if you try to have a longer or deeper conversation with them, you quickly recognize they have some memory issues. Due to changing circumstances, all three of them have had a lot more social interaction and I think that has helped them in a variety of ways.

I have noticed it in their activity, spending, and in my direct conversations with them.

Memory loss is not a normal consequence of aging. Our brains still produce new brain cells. However, once we hit 50, there is a slowing down of brain processing which we usually equate to memory loss. Eventually, you should be able to recall information, but it just takes longer.

However, we must remind ourselves that just like muscle-strength, we need to continue using our memory skills and engage in activities that stimulate our brains. It’s why I am afraid of the traditional concept of retirement and am often day-dreaming about how best to age, enjoy life, and stay engaged in meaningful ways that will challenge my brain.

After seeing this anecdotal result, I believe that every person needs to have some form of meaningful social engagement several times a week. For many older adults who want to age in place, managing this if they live alone can be a bigger challenge. In general our friend circle may be smaller and it might be harder to visit if we are no longer driving.

The answer on how to get more social engagement will vary for everyone but most communities have senior and community centers that offer ongoing classes and exercise programs for opportunities to make new friends. However, step one is to help us all recognize that your brain is a use it or lose it muscle we all need to work on continuing to stretch. Witnessed.

If you have a loved one in this situation, can you:
– Find local classes where they might meet a new friend (senior centers, community centers, and community colleges are easy places to start)
– Connect them with a local “village” that works to connect neighbors and offer both social engagement and help around the house
– Encourage them to look at moving to an adult community be it 55+, a condominium or apartment, as well as a Life Care Community
– Look at AARP that often offers a variety of social events in your community — if you are a member you will get mail or you can also download their app that features local events that are usually free
– Have friendly visitors come to the home to take them out or have a lively discussion at home about topics they love.

There is a Statute of Limitations on IRS Refunds

timemoneyIt physically pains me to find someone, through oversight or because of overwhelming life events, failed to do what was needed to get the refund to which they were entitled to receive from the IRS.

I just learned this when a client was told by the IRS that the 2014 and 2015 returns she eventually filed were submitted too late to allow her to receive the nearly $12,000 she was entitled to receive. She thought her life partner had filed these when we started working together. Unfortunately, he never did file them or ask for an extension.

According to I.R.C. Section 6511(a) “Claim must be filed within 3 years from the time the return was filed or 2 years from the time the tax was paid, whichever of such periods expires the later, or if no return was filed by the taxpayer, within 2 years from the time the tax was paid.”  There are things like extension requests that help your timing. Check with an accountant to learn more about this if you might be in this boat.

At least half of the families I have worked with find out that taxes didn’t get filed. The early signs of dementia are subtle and the individual may believe they are doing all the right things. It usually takes a couple big financial mistakes before people realize their loved one is unable to really manage their financial affairs.

If you are not sure if the taxes have been addressed, you can request transcripts from the IRS here.

Caring for a loved one can be overwhelming. If you need some help looking into this and no one is able to help, you could find a local Daily Money Manager who can help out. If you have a lot of medical expenses, the few hundred dollars it might take to hire them to help will more than be repaid when you receive your refund. If you can’t find one in your area, let me know. There are several members of my team that can assist with this remotely.  Recommended. 

 

 

Learn How to Advocate for your Medical Needs – Healthy Habit #20

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The days of the family doctor are gone. Most doctors are crushed for time as they try to address your needs in what feels like a shrinking time window. The average time physicians are spending with patients is less than 24 minutes. According to The Medscape Physician Compensation Report 2017. Thirty percent of physicians spend 17 – 24 minutes with their patients. That is followed by 29 percent of physicians who are spending between 13 – 16 minutes with patients.

Here is a quick primer on 6 Ways to Be Your Own Health Advocate by Elizabeth Renter. In short, you need to arrive prepared and refuse to leave until you have a diagnosis or next step toward one. You may need to repeat this cycle if your condition persists. 

You have probably noticed that no one seems to do more than glance at the 4 (plus) pages you diligently completed before your appointment. After caring for my parents and navigating a host of doctors with them, I learned to come prepared for each appointment. I could quickly cite their health issues, medicines, and stated the reason for our visit. I learned that if the doctor in front of me could not resolve the issue, I would find a secondary resource to help.

It is now the requirement of every adult to be their own advocate. The healthcare system is unable to do that for you.

When it comes to short-term memory issues (remember this is not a normal consequence of aging) it is important to push to get diagnosed. It could be a side-effect from a medicine — and it can happen with medicines you have taken for years. If you notice a change, bring it up with your primary care physician. Some will do a screening for it, but I recommend you request a referral to a neurologist. Memory issues are not really a primary care physician’s expertise. The earlier you know you have an issue, the earlier YOU can decide how you want to live should it be permanent and should you decline.

This ideal applies to any medical issue that is impacting your quality of life. Push to find a reason and understand how it may impact the rest of your life.

If you know this is not your skillset, or are overwhelmed by other matters, consider a consultation with an Aging Life Care Manager. In minutes they would resolve issues that I failed to unravel in days when it came to caring for my parents. Visit this website to find one located near you.

Can you eventually figure it out? Most likely. I know because before I knew about Aging Life Care Managers, I was working to handle a lot of the issues as the primary family caregiver for my parents. However, I would do anything to have a mulligan and spend that time enjoying my parents’ company instead of fretting over the next medical hurdle to traverse. Wished.

Know Short-Term Memory Loss is NOT a Normal Consequence of Aging – Health Habit 12

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There are many conditions that can cause memory loss and an early diagnosis can make a huge difference for you and your loved ones.

When you dig into the science, short-term memory loss is not a normal consequence of aging. You should consider your brain like you do a muscle and it needs exercise to stay strong.

Our brain processing speed slows down generally at 50, but we should still be able to retrieve the information. If you believe you have short-term memory issues, speak with your primary care physician and request a visit to a neurologist for an evaluation if you don’t find a cause.

In general, we can store from 5-9 pieces of information in our short-term memory. If you want something to stick you need to pay attention and attach meaning to it. Where you distracted when someone was talking to you so you didn’t really hear what they were saying to you?

I’m thankful I still have a child at home so I can see that even she seems to forget things. However, the reality is that she never received the information in the first place, which our modern and distracted lifestyles seem to encourage.

Just know that memory loss is NOT a normal consequence of aging. To learn more about this and find out how to boost your memory and recall get a copy of Dr. Cynthia Green’s Total Memory Workout.

Please don’t believe that memory loss is a consequence of getting older and take the time to learn more about how you can rev up recall. Encouraged.

Follow the Science on How Brains Age – Healthy Habit #2

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I wanted to understand how I could perhaps better recognize, prepare, and hopefully avoid the fate of my parent’s who both were diagnosed with different forms of dementia. One of the best things I did was to go through the Total Brain Health Certification. I met the founder Dr. Cynthia Green when we both appeared on The Dr. Oz Show.  Her book Total Memory Workout is a great primer on simple ways to maintain brain health and boost your memory.

The reality is that the common belief that “forgetfulness” is a normal sign of aging is false. Our brain processing slows down usually starting in our 50’s but the inability to recall information or short-term memory loss are signs of disease, not a typical reality of aging. But A LOT of people believe it and tell themselves it is normal.

If you understand how your brain ages, as well as how some of the changes in our brains actually make us MORE trusting (and why older adults are easier targets for fraud), you will be better able to plan and put systems in place to safely live well.

If you start to notice changes, you can then talk with your doctor. There are many things you can do if you catch issues early and some of them are entirely reversible.

If you have a loved one who is showing signs of memory loss, I hope you will raise the issue with them. I certainly tried with my parents. My Dad was open to pursue testing and investigate while my Mom shut down the idea that something was amiss. It took several years and many doctors before we found someone who would help us understand what was happening to our parents. Unfortunately, it was too late to do anything … and maybe there was nothing to be done. However, it would have helped if we could have talked through their wishes knowing a diagnosis of memory loss was made.

In the case of your brain health, knowing will afford you a lot more options. Recommended.

Here are a few articles to get you started:

Age-Associated Financial Vulnerability: An Emerging Public Health Issue Annals of Internal Medicine Annals of Internal Medicine – December 1, 2015

Supplements for Brain Health Show No Benefit – a Neurologist Explains a New Study The National Interest – June 28, 2019

Why It’s Easier to Scam the Elderly NPR – December 6, 2012